You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize