Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Randomize