I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize