so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize