Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
