I wanna bring you to show and tell
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I love you.
Bad choice
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
