dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
