The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
