We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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