I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
