actually, I'm a sock model
I wish you could order shots online.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
