shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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