hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Are we in a gay sports bar?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
you're hired as official boob wrangler
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
