Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
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