I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
