brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
