S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
