I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize