it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
