i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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