so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
