just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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