No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
