check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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