So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
