i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize