I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
