i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize