Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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