I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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