I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
