Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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