Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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