Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
the condom got lost in my hair
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
