Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
