You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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