there's paper in my vomit.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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