I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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