youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
