I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
