just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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