With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
