if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
