Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
