i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
