love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
