her vagine was all disorganized.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
