You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize