Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Randomize
