My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize
