After last night, I could never be a politician.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
