Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
