You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
