He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
