I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize