Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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