You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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