Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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