you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
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