My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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