I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
