Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize