she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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