I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
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