you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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